Thursday, October 9, 2008

Tough call

Warning: F-bomb Alert!

Is it nobler to 'eff it all' or to 'f*ck it all' or to just come out and 'fuck it all'? I'm in a quandary.

I am a firm believer in using the right word for the job. I think swearing serves a purpose in society. And yeah, sometimes it's just friggin' funny. I'm just that crude.

Hey, did you know 'frigging' used to be a bad word? Do you know what it originally meant? Ten points if you do!

I'm sure it's no surprise that I swear In Real Life. At one point some years back (during a particularly stressful time) I got so bad that I embarrassed the Ex, a career sailor who could hold his own. As I've aged, I've toned it down and gained more control over those random ejaculations, but I still do it. Just not so much in public.

On the continuum of foul-mouthed-ness I'm a pretty weak-assed swearer, really. I stick to the mainstream swears: all forms of 'shit', of course; standard and freestyle variations of 'ass' (asshole, asshat, asseyes, asswipe); 'piss' in its various forms (pissing, pisser, pissed); and of course 'suck' and 'blow', which don't really count since they used to be swears -- originally slang for a sex act -- but nowadays are pretty commonplace.

Hey, remember when 'screw' was a bad word? Gawd, I'm old. And my mom told me that when she was young, 'tool' and 'rod' used to make people blush. Oh, how far we've come....

I don't go so much for the genitalia-related swears, other than the occasional 'dick' (and its variant dickwad) or 'cocksucker' when necessary. I really hate the 'c-word', but I have been know to call myself a pussy, although I employ it as an expression of self-deprecation rather than a description of physiology. I mean, yeah, I have one, but so do most other females. No big. Let's just call a vulva a vulva, shall we?

Which reminds me: I hate when people refer to a 'vagina' when they mean 'vulva'. If a woman is walking down the street pants-less and you can see her vagina, she's got much bigger problems than no pants, let me tell you. Know your anatomy, people!

Back to the point, finally: I'm an unrepentant potty-mouth but I've been flip-flopping on the f-word here and I feel like a hypocrite. Hell, I even ranted about sci-fi writers making up futuristic swears instead of using the genuine article. But I have found myself doing the same thing; backing off and employing pale bullshit substitutes.

Why the hesitation? Why not just let my Fuck Flag fly? I dunno. I guess I wanted to avoid the connotation of being an 'adult' blog, even though I certainly don't write for the kiddies. To me, 'adult' has XXX connotations that make me blush and feel funny inside. And I'd rather not go there, thank you.

But I'm weary of the fucking tap dance. Fuck it! I'm going au naturel, baby. Fuckity-fuck-McFuck-fuck-fuck!

There. Doesn't that feel better?


  1. LOL ...I sometimes have the same dilemma I end up switching it up. If I'm really mad or going for a laugh, I use FUCK for sure. Otherwise, I toggle between effing, frigging, freaking, and f*cking.
    Great post!

  2. I am so with you on this one! In fact, using 'fucking' as an adjective before every word as my husband and I argue, makes me feel damn good! And, it diverts attention as he says "do you really need to swear THAT much?"
    Yes. Yes, I do.


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