Friday, September 30, 2011

You may feel some discomfort

You’re going to want to eat as soon as possible, before it gets too sore.

— The orthodontist tech, after outfitting me with new wires approximately the diameter and flexibility of pencil lead.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The crypt-keeper

Lovely Daughter and I saw Freaky Friday the other day. As I watched the teen cavort and whine and snarl and generally act out in the mother’s body, I was somewhat mortified to realize that I act like that all the time. Being reminded that I resemble Jamie Lee Curtis didn’t exactly help my attempts at denial.

Who knew that anything featuring LiLo could be the source of such self-doubt?

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Corn scares me. I like it to eat, but not to hang around in.

— Lovely Daughter, watching Harry and Ginny battle Helena Bonham Carter outside the Weasley mansion.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Today, I learned...

...that if you’re not looking, a chocolate glazed stick donut tastes just like its paler cousin. Comes in handy if they’re out of glazed stick donuts at 10pm. Which they usually are.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Lovely Daughter's big evening

With Bob the IV pole as chaperone, we casually strolled to the end of the ward, through the double doors, and over to the elevators. We scanned to be sure no one was watching, then punched the down button. When the door opened, we scooted inside, dragging Bob behind us. Rode down to the lobby, peeked out the door, then rode back up and strolled nonchalantly back to her room. We felt very wicked! Bob best keep his big yap shut, the snitch.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Reality bites

Is there anything sadder than sticking your hand in the bag only to find you’ve already eaten the last glazed munchkin?

I think not.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tomato, tomato...

I say chili-mac, hospital cafeteria says American chop suey. I’m sure it will make an adequate turd either way.

Hard lessons learned the hard way from the School of Hard Knocks

This is a toughie. I reallyreallyreeeeally want to write about what’s been going on around here, and a couple of years ago I would have freely laid the whole thing out, whether you wanted to read about it or not, but I’ve got this notion bumping around in my skull that it might not be my story to tell.

That sucks because things to write about are hard to come by, you know?

But I do think that I can at least share my experiences, if I can find a way to do it without crossing some invisible boundary and violating privacy, blah, blah, blah.

So for the past five days I have been spending most of my time in a hospital room 2500 miles from home with my sick girl. There are actually two illnesses going on simultaneously, and progress has been see-sawing between the two. She’s been here over a week now, and still can’t have ANYTHING by mouth, not even ice chips. She was having ice chips last week and even graduated to the broth-and-jello diet for a couple of days until her body pitched a fit. So now it’s back to bag after bag of saline, and in between medication naps, begging me for "just one little ice chip..."

It really blows, but at least she’s no longer demanding to go outside for a cigarette. And she no longer believes she’s been kidnapped for medical experiments.

On another topic that may or may not be related in any way to what’s going on out here, I bought a bookto keep me from chewing the armrests of the plane seats on my trip out. It has turned out to be extremely educational and I firmly believe that anyone who drinks alcohol, might drink alcohol, or finds themselves furrowing their brows over someone’s relationship to alcohol (incl. their own) should read this book immediately. It’s that important. Especially if there’s a chance people with whom you share genetic material have/had issues in that general area.

Also, on another topic that may or may not be related in any way to previous topics in this post, did you know that what killed Amy Winehouse might have been alcohol withdrawal? Yes, stopping cold turkey without medical supervision can KILL your ass. Seizures, tachycardia, severe low blood pressure, hallucinations… it is terrifying stuff. Trust me on this one.

And, with alcohol consumption, can come other diseases to complicate things, like say, as a random example, acute pancreatitis. Another thing you do NOT want to fuck with. And you do not have to be a falling-in-the-gutter wino for decades to get these sorts diseases. The twenty-ton anvil can smear you to the pavement at any time. All it takes is for your body to get sick and tired of your shit, and that is unique to each individual.

So get educated and be safe out there, kids-of all-ages. Better to know the facts and not need them, than to worry for years, rationalize things based on severely outdated biases and data, expect people to exert control over behaviors they stand no chance of controlling, then get that phone call out of the blue.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Travel Essentials

The perfect travel evening. BTW, donut calories don’t count if you eat them in your jammies in a hotel bed. If you’re watching Miss Congeniality, you actually burn calories.

(I’m saving Hancock for later)

Monday, September 5, 2011


Scene: Watching original Star Trek episodes with Young Son

Capt. James T. Kirk: "Captain’s log, stardate blah blah blah..."

Young Son
(shouting at the screen): "This is no time for a blog entry, Captain Kirk!"

Friday, September 2, 2011


My name is Liz, and I’m a recovering yarnaholic. It’s been eight years since I de-stashed.

Today I walked into a yarn store and bought yarn. At full price.

I know I said I had quit for good, but I can handle it this time, I swear.

I can stop anytime I want.