Monday, March 31, 2008

Guilty pleasures

I spent most of the last four days dealing with some sort of stupid virus.

Apropos of nothing, Thursday afternoon I began to feel like I'd been out all night abusing adult substances. Friday morning it was clear that I wasn't going anywhere except to occasionally raid the kitchen for something that didn't offend my digestive tract. The good news is that other than a whopping case of General Malaise* and a crappy headache, I got off pretty easy...

...except for getting completely and irrevocably hooked on a new Guilty TV Pleasure.

JabbaWockeez on America's Best Dance Crew


My name is Liz, I'm a middle-aged white female, and I watch America's Best Dance Crew.

Thanks to my best friend TiVo, my laptop, and my wireless router, I watched the entire eight episodes of Season 1 lying flat on my back in bed. Mr. B. came over to hang out with me after work, arriving just as I was starting the finale. He was extremely patient and not only watched it with me, but he even nodded at appropriate intervals while I babbled on about how Kaba Modern should have been in the finals instead of Status Quo....

What a guy.

I hear rumors that Season 2 will appear in the summer. Yay! And even better, I found there is a 2-hour (Previously Recorded) Live Audition Special that I can stream from the MTV site. Gonna unplug the phone and dim the lights for that one. Yas, yas, yassss...

For all that I disparage (most) reality shows and as much as I'd like to say that this is the first time I've slid down this path, truth is that the reality tv monkey is familiar with my back. I got stuck on Survivor for several seasons before finally burning out, and I was deep into both seasons of Rockstar**, INXS and Supernova.

I know I'm not alone. What are your Guilty TV Pleasures? What do you watch that makes your friends, family, and/or co-workers roll their eyes?

p.s. I bet you can still catch America's Best Dance Crew on MTV if you're curious. And I know you are, nod, nod, wink, wink.

* Hey, isn't that the cyborg guy in Star Wars Episode III?

** Only for the music, though. ;)
 

Friday, March 28, 2008

I heart Cheese

Today's Friday Rocks! is taking a big old turn out towards left field.

I saw this commercial on Cartoon Network last week and just had to share.


Now we're brother ladies!!


If you aren't familiar with Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends on Cartoon Network, you're so totally missing out. I do love Bloo, but Cheese has got to be my favorite character. You can find tons of clips on YouTube. Look for the Mac Daddy episode -- a classic! You might even be able to stream episodes from the Cartoon Network site. I can't think of a better way to piss away spend a Friday afternoon*.

p.s. Got time and mental energy to spare? You can play Cheese Quest 3D here!

*With your clothes on.
 

Thursday, March 27, 2008

My Favorite Sign



This is for real. It's in a church parking lot right around the corner from the office.

I just love it. I don't know why.

p.s. Just got back from a trip to the heartland. We now resume our regular posting schedule already in progress.
 

Friday, March 21, 2008

Big Hard Sun

This one's been rockin' regularly on my radio station and I figured it was time to let 'er rip on a Fridays Rock!

The video's not much to look at, and I apologize for that. I was going to use the "official video" but it had a bunch of voiceover stuff from the film that annoyed the piss out of me. So get it playing, minimize the browser, and enjoy.


Hard Sun,Eddie Vedder, Into The Wild Soundtrack

I haven't seen the film (probably won't) but I've heard the soundtrack rocks equally well on all days ending in "y".
 

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Plarn, deconstructed

I've mentioned plarn (PLAstic yaRN) before but neglected to define the term. It's yarn of a sort made from cut-up plastic grocery bags. I didn't invent the idea or coin the term but I'm more than happy to leap on the bandwagon. My guess it's related to the old-school super-frugal practice of crocheting things from plastic bread bags. I have vague memories of seeing doormats made from Wonder Bread bags. Stylin'!

The best use of plarn, as I see it, is for crocheting market bags. Ya gotta admit, making grocery bags from grocery bags is kind of a neat recursive concept. I think of them as "metabags".

I've made three metabags now, and although the shine is starting to dull a bit, I might have one or two left in me. Or maybe it'll be an annual project*. It's turned into a love/hate thing, for sure.

It's fairly labor intensive, with most of the time going into making the plarn. That kind if irritates me, the Queen of the Short Attention Span. It also generates a bit of a mess, what with all the cutting, and of course I started hoarding bags and that got completely out of hand**.

Small inconveniences aside, it's still a shiny enough concept to keep me coming back for more.

Even though my metabag gets lots of interest at the grocery store, there's no way I could (or would want to) make money selling them (see labor intensive discussion above) so I thought I'd share lessons learned so y'all can roll your own.

Here is my preferred method for making plarn. Me being me, I had to research and experiment and fuss to see whether there's a more efficient method. There isn't. Trust me: the loop method is the best I've found. Plarn is going to take time to make, period. I tried cutting each bag into one long strip, but then you have to tie them all together and there are all those knots and short ends sticking out of the final product. We hates it!

The fun part for me is creating the shape. I made my first two metabags by combining elements from a couple of plarn market bag patterns I found online.

My original one, stretched all to hell. Note the knots and ends all sticking out.

Now I try to duplicate any cool bag shape that strikes my fancy. The one below was modeled on this shape.

The "grocery pod" model, a particularly pleasing shape. Not sure how functional -- I need to check with the recipient -- but look how sleek! No nasssty endses sticking out.


For my next shape, I'm going to try to reproduce the original plastic grocery bag shape, complete with some sort of gusset if I can figure out how to make that work.

One safety tip: these things g-r-o-w. My original one has now stretched to the point where it's too heavy to carry when fully loaded with groceries. And the straps are crazy long. I used a fisherman-net-type stitch for the second edition (not pictured) and it stretched way too much in the vertical direction, making it a very long, practically unusable tube unless you deliver a small paper route or need to carry a lot of baguettes around. So if the one you're making*** looks too shallow and the straps too short, have faith. This, too, shall pass. As with the female form, gravity will have its way in the end.

Another caveat is that crocheting plarn is not the least bit gentle on the wrists and hands. If you have carpal tunnel issues or arthritis, this might not be the best medium to work in.

And, for the love of whatever, do not tell people that you'll take all of their plastic grocery bags!

Eventually I want to write up some directions to post on my free patterns page. We'll see how that pans out. In the meantime, here's a pattern to get you started.

You think I've spent a lot of time and mental energy on plarn and metabags? Don't get me monologuing on soapmaking. Or knitting. Or baking. Mr. B's witnessed it. It's scary.

* If you're on my gift list, be forewarned: you may well end up with one eventually.

** Any knitter with a stash knows what I mean. My name is Liz and I'm a recovering fiberaholic.

*** And I'm betting if you've ever held a crochet hook, you will be making one.
 

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Ah, Spring!

And with Spring comes...

The Spring Concert!

(Sorry for the crappy cell phone pic -- I forgot my camera.)


Yes, I'm standing in the back of the gym/cafeteria/auditorium along with several hundred of my closest friends. Luckily I was right in front of the door so I didn't pass out from lack of oxygen or heat stroke.

I can't even tell you how many times I've done this over the last 20 years. However, this was probably one of the least painful ones ever. The music teacher had each class do one or two short, cute songs. And the kids were really into it! I've sat through many a show where the kids are just staring at the floor trying to out-whisper each other.

There's gotta be a special place in the great whatever for music teachers who are really into giving the kids a reason to enjoy music. That's good stuff.
 

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Rant: Move it!!

Here's a clue, free of charge:

When you're driving at the speed limit in the far left lane of the highway and all cars in both lanes of traffic to the right are passing you,

MOVE THE HELL OVER!!

Thank you.

Sincerely,

A pissed-off citizen
 

Monday, March 17, 2008

A Year Ago, Part IV

In which our protagonist takes it to the next level

And so it went for about three weeks; wrestling with my completely out-of-control newly-reborn emotional right brain* while desperately trying to maintain the facade of a relaxed, confident adult. It was just as exhausting as it sounds.

Boy, I think I'm really starting to like him. Why am I even thinking like that? Am I insane? Just knock it off, already! I should just bail before I do something stupid. This is ridiculous! And listen to me -- how old am I again?!?

But... it would be fun to do things with a pal in the Big City, and he is a nice guy. And a known quantity. Yeah, that's it. We'll just be buds -- that'll work. I can do that. No big deal.

Boy, I think I'm really starting to
like him....

Yep, that just about sums it up. I was well on my way to driving myself completely bat-shit, but at least I was sane enough to know that I alone was doing the driving. I think I get partial credit for that.

Then, an opportunity. I decided to go to the fancy-pants** spa in the Big City for an makeover. It had been years since I had had an overhaul and I was more than ready for one.

Hmmm... I wonder if he'd want to meet for coffee after? Email & phone calls have been going well... am I ready for a face-to-face? Besides, we're just friends catching up. What's the big deal?

I'll have on a fresh coat of professionally-applied warpaint so I'll look like a grownup. Low-risk, yes; we could have coffee, get dinner if so inclined, or flee to our separate corners if all hell breaks loose. Seems safe enough.


I put it out there and he agreed. A few days later -- a year ago today -- we met at a coffee place in the mall across from the spa. I was, indeed, sporting a very expensive coat of warpaint with a really good haircut... and a nasty rash on my forehead*** that I could only hope was at least partially concealed by the makeup.

I don't remember many specifics, but I do remember that it took us a bit to get our feet under us. I was in Full Public Self-Defense Mode, wherein I protect myself with my Shield of Extroversion. I know I babbled and violated at least a dozen rules about how one is supposed to behave during such an... encounter. But we were just old friends catching up, right? It definitely was not a date. No harm, no foul.

Despite my verbal diarrhea, we decided to get dinner at a Thai place in the mall then walk around a bit before he drove me back to the ferry. A little out of our comfort zones, true, but a satisfactory experience overall. Not bad, given that neither of us possess the slickest social skills. At the end of the night I felt confident that given time, we could hang out fairly successfully.

Which was a relief since we'd already agreed to attend a couple of lectures over the next couple of weeks. And he didn't suddenly develop appendicitis or acquire a sick relative out-of-town requiring urgent attention, which I took as a good sign. Game on!

Part V: In which our protagonist is going places with a guy in the Big City but is most definitely not dating.

* Think of the baby alien being born in the car in Men in Black.It was a lot like that.

** Not their real name

*** Why oh why didn't anyone warn me about the eyebrow-waxing rash?!?
 

Friday, March 14, 2008

Take Your Mama Out Tonight, dammit!

Are you sure this isn't Elton John circa Goodbye Yellow Brick Road?My flashbacks seem to think it is.

OK, it may be a little gay* for some tastes and I'm not sure I fully understand the lyrics, but it's definitely Rockin' my Friday!


Take Your Mama,Scissor Sisters, Scissor Sisters

(Apologies for the sucky video quality. I can't find a "clean" one.)

* And I mean that in the best possible way.
 

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This is your brain

I was thrashing about this morning with no clue about what to write. Long post(s) for the week? Done them. Internet humor? Ditto. Fridays Rock? Wait for it....

Oh dear, oh dear, what to say, what to say?

Then I saw this video. Instead of trying to sum it up, I'll kife the description straight from TED:

Stroke of insight: Jill Bolte Taylor on TED.com

Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story of recovery and awareness -- of how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another. (Recorded February 2008 in Monterey, California. Duration: 18:44.)




Hearing Dr. Taylor's story told from both a left- and right-brain perspective; as an objective scientist and a deeply affected human being... wow. It moved me. It also pointed out to me (rather painfully) how very left-brained I can be, almost to a fault. Ouch! Yes, it's my safe place but that doesn't make it the right* place.

As a bonus, she's from Indiana**!

Not familiar with TED? Click here. Scads of TED talks on a mind-boggling list of topics await you.

* Sorry -- bad pun. I often make them without even knowing it. That's pretty sad.

** As if you couldn't tell from the non-accent....
:)