Yesterday's big news!

From The Daily Minutiae*


* Fooled you! Not a real newspaper. Create your own clipping here.
 

The hard way

I'm sure all parents would agree one of the toughest things about raising a child is watching them learn those shitty life lessons the hard way. For those with young ones at home, one warning: Be prepared. It doesn't stop when they leave the nest.

This tale begins in August 2008 when Lovely Daughter finished grad school and moved to NYC with her best bud, Gay Boyfriend. They moved into a sublet in Brooklyn with another girl who had been there for, oh, 5 or 6 years. The place was a dump -- the landlord had never fixed a single thing -- but it was a place to live and LD's share was only $900/month. Yeah, yikes.

A few months shy of the end of their lease, new opportunities arose and the three decide to move on. They get verbal (I know, you can see it coming) approval from the landlord. Several positive emails were exchanged with the landlord in the weeks leading up to the move. It was all good....

...until the summons arrived. The landlord was suing them for $5000 each, claiming they broke the lease AND trashed the place. The reality was the landlord completely gutted and remodeled the place after they left and was billing them for it.

Well, our trio was not going to play that. It took several months and multiple trips to the courthouse, but our trio was determined not to give in. Unfortunately, in the end they were advised to settle since they -- all together now -- did not get it in writing.

End result is they each have to pay the douchebag slumlord $1600 over the next five months. Which means the Ex and I get to pay the douchebag slumlord $1600 for the privilege of scamming our daughter. I'm really pleased to be rewarding his asshat business practices.

What makes it worse is that it became clear very early on that this is what this guy does. He rents a place, ignores all requests for maintenance, and when the tenants leave he claims they trashed the property and either withholds their security deposit or sues them, depending on how much remodeling he decides to do. Many people are intimidated and pay him to get it over with. Nice scam, eh? Someone even started a blog about him a while back. There are also posts in various Brooklyn-related forums about his hijinks.

Shitstain.

Life Lesson #73: Get It In Writing.

Ouch.
 

Feeding the pile

I've got an armful of scraps to toss onto the pile today, OK? Best don your protective gear.

• This month's award in the category of Songs Currently Receiving Heavy Airplay That Make Me Turn the Volume All The Way Down goes to that new turd by Train. We HATESSSS it. The good news is that Autotuned piece o'crap by Owl City is no longer in regular rotation.


• Lovely Daughter apparently did NOT appear in As The World Turns last week. I suspect her scenes were left on the cutting room floor. I tell myself it's because her presence outshone everyone else and the other actors wouldn't stand for it. Oh well. She got paid, but I'm still crabby about it.


• Sweetie still doesn't know what a dog toy is and runs from anything making a squeaky sound, but she is showing signs of becoming a fabric collector. We have found a ball cap, a hoodie, a dishtowel, and her dog sweater lying in the back yard, otherwise unmolested. Good thing we installed that dog door. Makes it so much easier for her to express herself.


• Sweetie has also reminded me that greyhound farts can clear a room.


• I think I have reached equilibrium with my Magic:The Gathering card collecting. I have one last order of cards being delivered this week, then I am going on hiatus until the next set is released. Don't smirk! I mean it this time. Unless, of course, there's a card I really need....


• Taxes were done with online software, filed electronically, and I expect the return to be direct deposited in a week or so. Oh, how I love the interwebs! How did I get anything done without it?


• In just over two weeks, Mr. B and I will be headed back east to hang with Evil Twin and Co to celebrate a belated Ideas of Meatloaf. Squeee!


• This weekend, Mr. B and I had social interactions with two different sets of adults not related to us. I think that's a record. What that really means is two separate opportunities for me to realize that I talk too much in social situations. Realizing that always make me feel so happy and confident! Fuck. No wonder I don't go out.


• You know, if someone produced a relatively affordable, fuel-efficient, old-school analog car with windows that crank, manual locks, no computers, an engine that one could actually work on, etc., I think there might well be a market for it. I'd certainly buy one. After all, when the aliens come and deploy the electromagnetic pulse bomb to paralyze our civilization, computerized cars will be among the first casualties. It's best to be prepared.

My collection bin is empty now and I feel much better. as it good for you?
 

Webisode 4! Yippee!

Without further delay...

My Transient Life, ep. 4
Warning: Mature themes!


Can't remember if Lovely Daughter's in the next episode, but she did say she'd be back at some point.
 

Webisode 3 is here!

Without further delay...

My Transient Life, ep. 3
Warning: Mature themes!


I think I need to eat more almonds.

p.s. Those are her own eyelashes, BTW.

p.p.s. Another episode to come - check back next week.

p.p.p.s. Wait! Of course you should still check back tomorrow for other stuff. I'll be here. Promise.
 

Diversion

Oh, hi. Sorry, but my head fell off and I'm busy trying to get it screwed back on. In the meantime, here's Lovely Daughter to entertain you.

My Transient Life, ep. 2
Warning: Mature themes


I understand there's at least one more webisode to come - yay! There can never be enough Lovely Daughter screen time for me.
 

This just in!

First webisode of a project Lovely Daughter is doing. She's not in this clip, but she does show up in the teaser at the end.

My Transient Life, ep. 1
NSFW for language and mature themes

I was relieved to find out she's not Candy, although I'm not convinced that's not her voice....

Spread the word -- if it gets popular enough and they get sponsors, she might get paid!
 

Third attempt

I've written and discarded two posts today, both full of complaints about the stupid things that are making me crabby this week. Long story short, I'm crabby and stupid things have been happening.

'Nuff said.

In other news, Lovely Daughter met Alan Alda last weekend. He attended the play she's doing in Philly. I heard there are pictures but I haven't seen them yet.


That's Alan-fucking-Alda, people!


All those hours I spent watching M*A*S*H in my teens and early twenties, I never dreamed that someday, decades in the future, Hawkeye Pierce would be in the audience watching my daughter on stage.

Although, according to Wikipedia, the final M*A*S*H episode aired almost exactly three months before Lovely Daughter was born.

Hmmm... Coincidence, or fate? You decide.

(Remind me sometime to tell you how the Star Wars movie releases coincide with major turning points in my life. Fascinating stuff.)
 

Almost-brush with greatness

So Lovely Daughter's trying hard to adjust to post-graduation life. She's going to auditions (mostly voice-over and commercials) and she just nailed a restaurant job. This was wonderful news, as she'd had a hard time finding likely prospects. Apparently August is not a good time to try to find a restaurant job in NYC.

I'd lost track of the various places she'd applied over the last month, so when she told me she got hired I wasn't really too focused on exactly where she was working.

I found out today that she's working at the Downtown Les Halles! I know, I couldn't believe it either! Now, Tony Bourdain worked at the Midtown restaurant, not the Downtown one, but, still! She is almost working at the same place Tony worked! And you know how I feel about Tony.

I mean, what if he stops by for a quick bite, LD waits on him, he's taken by her charms* and engages her in conversation and she mentions that her mom is a huge fan and has this blog**...

I'll be in my bunk.

* She's very cute and personable. This could totally happen.

** OK, probably not this. She doesn't even read my blog.
 

Kiss me

On this Very Special Episode of Fridays Rock! I'm compelled to share one of my all-time favorite videos that you've never heard of.


Kiss me, Alphastates

Yes, that's Lovely Daughter* with the eyes and lips and hair, circa some four or five years ago. She and some drama pals were tapped to shoot this video for the Irish band Alphastates. It's very fun to watch now and wave at the kids, all of whom have long since moved on to various corners of the country. Especially the hands on her chest, which belong to her first gay husband, BC. I always give BC a shoutout when I see the hands.

This is Lovely Daughter's Very Big Weekend. She's turning 25 and graduating after seven years of college. Whatever I was doing on my 25th birthday, it sure as hell wasn't that cool. I can, however, pretty much guarantee it involved chasing a 2-yr-old. And wine. It definitely involved wine.

Maybe in that regard, her 25th and mine won't be all that dissimilar after all.
:)
(I'm positive this piece of 'ancient history' will mortify her, but that is my solemn duty as her mother, no matter how grown up she is. At least I didn't post her jr hi school pix... yet! Bwah-ha-ha-haaaa!)

Program note: Mr. B & I are headed Back East to join the Ex, Young Son, Sis, Evil Twin, and the rest of the gang for the festivities. I'll see y'all next Thursday.

* Nope, she's not singing, just lip-synching.
 

ZOMG!1!!11!!

Speaking of Lovely Daughter, I just heard that she had a Very Nice Meeting today with some casting people at Warner Bros.

Can I just say?
My daughter.

Meeting.

Casting.

Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Thank you.
:)