I said it's alright, dammit!

If y'all are anything like me -- and I'm guessing you are -- then I'm suspecting you could use a little attitude adjustment about now. I'm predicting this will do the trick.

Be sure to turn your speakers up REALLY LOUD, 'k?



Mmmm... that's good stuff, ain't it?

I know I posted it before, back in the days of Friday's Rock!, but I just had to share it again. After not hearing it for months, I've heard it three times this week already. It's a sign! I still think it's my favorite Zeppelin song.

BTW, why isn't it Friday yet??
 

Cooter rooter to the rescue

So anyhooze, I finally found a new doctor and went to see her and learned that I have to have a proCEEdure. I don't want to have a proCEEdure, especially one that involves general anesthesia and my lady parts and stirrups. Not the fun kind of stirrups, either.

I'm very, very lucky it's nothing scary -- more preventative than anything else -- but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Even the prescription the doc gave me today for post-op happy pills and the prospect of three days off work isn't enough to completely quench my urge to jump up and down and flap my hands and whine like a three year old, 'cause it's going to be gross and I don't want to doooo it!

But do it I will. If everything goes as advertised, my understanding is that the cramping and bleeding and -- gulp! -- seepage will be well worth it.

Mmmmm, seepage. Now there's an evocative and underused word. Hey, anyone up for egg drop soup?
 

Attitude of gratitude

In honor of Mr. B's upcoming birthday, here's a top ten list of why he's the best.

• His birthday is not on my ex-anniversary. It's the day before, which eliminates all sorts of emotional awkwardness for me.


• Our taste in reading material is eerily similar -- a huge cost-saving measure.


• He can change the lightbulbs in most of the ceiling fixtures without a ladder.


• His family of origin is about as close as mine. Let's just say we enjoy minimal in-law follies.


• His follow-through percentage is just a tad lower than mine, allowing me to act all high and mighty like I'm the conscientious one.


• He doesn't mind loading and unloading the dishwasher.


• He'll eat my mostly-vegetarian cooking without complaining.


• He can handle a drain snake like nobody's business.


• He's a lot handier than he thinks he is.


• He always knows the answer.

OK, the last one is a cheat, an inside joke from decades past. But I have anecdotal evidence that it's true. More on that later.

In other news, I know my posting has been less than... regular lately. I've decided I must embrace my seasonal shortcomings and have declared February to be Let Myself Off The Hook Month. I hereby vow I will shower, dress, make sure the family is fed, pay the bills, and show up at work during February, but everything else is iffy. I expect to rejoin society in about a month.

Anyone else struggle in February, or is it just me?
 

Marketing fail

From my Facebook page this morning.



It's not like they don't know my age. WTF, FB?

Excuse me, my bowels just moved.