She's gonna blow

I've decided that blogging is like having irritable bowel syndrome. Some posts are like explosive diarrhea: the pressure builds quickly until the moment you realize the shit is going to come out, ready or not, and it’s gonna have to go somewhere, regardless of quality.

Other posts start off normally enough, but something happens and the process s-l-o-w-s w-a-a-a-y d-o-w-n, causing it to gain mass and lose momentum until it culminates in a catastrophic event where the hard, dry, dense-as-a-collapsed-star turd must be birthed, even though you know it’s too big and will tear you asunder, or you will die.

We’ve known each other long enough that I feel comfortable sharing that there is blog post with the mass of a cantaloupe working its way through the pipes. No idea when it’s going to arrive, but you might want to don some protective gear.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.