Monday, November 10, 2008

Guest Post: Evil Twin

Evil Twin has volunteered to entertain you with a piece of our shared history. Back in the day, I was scrambling to find funds for my Brief Yet Disastrous Attempt At Grad School. I asked ET for a letter of recommendation for a small scholarship. She graciously complied.

The Northern Town Garden Club
Northern Town, New England.

To whom it may concern:

It is my honor and privilege to recommend Liz C. for your annual Military Wife scholarship. I have known Liz for four years. We became fast friends on the day that she took pity on me and told me where the ladies’ room was on my fourth day at the new job.

She embodies many qualities I admire. When her husband is on deployment, she sucks it up and takes out the recycling. She does not whine. Her young daughter says "please" and "thank you" without prompting. Liz uses her turn signal religiously, and most important, she plays no musical instruments.

If she says she’ll spend the $500 scholarship money on books, she probably will. She’s cut way back on the beer since we joined Weight Watchers.

Liz is a good military wife and mother, and way too smart to be making copies all day. Thank you for considering Liz for this scholarship.

Sincerely,

Evil Twin

I got the scholarship.

This is a bona fide No Shitter. And that is why she's my BFF.
 

Friday, November 7, 2008

Future's so bright

Whip out the shades, everyone! This Friday Rocks! Eighties-style.


Timbuk3, The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)

On the YouTube page I got the link from, there's a note that the graphics were done on an Amiga 1000 with the very first edition of Deluxe Paint. I think they hold up rather well, don't you?
 

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Nota bene

Today's stats:
Word count: 2280
Total: 15,551
Things in <air quote>Novel-land</air quote> are getting complicated. I fear my frantic pace will be slowing pretty drastically here shortly. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for rapid deceleration!
 

Doldrums

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alice rolled her chair back from her desk, stood, and stretched. She picked up the half-full coffee cup that had been sitting untouched next to her computer for hours and took a hesitant sip of the room-temperature contents. Blech. That's just nasty. How long have I been sitting here, anyway?

She headed into the kitchen and dumped the remainder down the drain. She rinsed the sludge out of the cup and set it in the sink. She opened the dishwasher and looked at the clean dishes jammed into every cubic inch of space. Even the ten minutes it would take to empty it seemed like too much effort. Maybe just the silverware. She pulled the basket out and set it on the counter. She opened the silverware drawer. She picked up a fork. She put it in the drawer. She picked up a spoon. She put it in the drawer. This is ridiculous! She slammed the drawer shut and leaned against the sink, arms crossed.

Everything seemed completely overwhelming right now. Was there anything at all good left on the TiVo? Spending the rest of the day on the couch staring at the TV was about all she could handle.

I wish Ted would call.... Coincidentally enough, her cell phone decided to ring that very second. She fumbled pulling it out of her pocket and checked the caller id. Nope, not Ted. Damn. She sighed and flipped it open.

"Hey, Carol."

"Hey, girl! What're you up to?"

"Absolutely nothing! I spent all morning on the computer doing who knows what and am now standing in the kitchen trying to figure out what to do to kill the 8 hours before I can go to bed without feeling like a complete loser. How 'bout you?"

"I'm kind of stuck too. Bob took the kids out and about and they'll be gone until dinner. I putzed around getting some odds and ends done but all of a sudden I feel like I'm dead in the water. Hey, did that guy call today? What's his name?"

"Ted. Nope. I thought things were pretty hot and heavy between us, but nada. We went out Thursday night for Thai and had a major snogfest at his place after but I had to get home and get some sleep for my eight o'clock conference call Friday morning. I hope he didn't think I was bolting. We talked a lot on the phone yesterday but we both decided to stay home last night."

"Well, it's still early. Maybe he'll call later."

"Hope so. He's a pretty nice guy. Probably the best one I've gone out with in a long time. Just don't know if anything is going to come of it but I guess it's too early to tell."

"Yeah, sometime these things take time."

"Yeah, I know. But at my age, time seems like something in short supply."

Alice waited for Carol's response but didn't hear any signs of life on the other end. "Carol? You there?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Just spaced out for a minute. I just can't seem to hold a thought in my head for more than a second lately."

"Me too! You should see me, standing here in the middle of the floor turning in circles trying to figure out what I should be doing. It's driving me nuts!"

"That's why Bob took the kids out today. We were driving each other batshit last night. Karl was picking up Pokemon cards one at a time, saying their name, and stacking them in a pile. And the girls got into a 'Yuh-huh! Nuh-huh!' argument that lasted ten minutes, I swear. This morning Bob chased them all out into the car and took them to the mall just to get them out of the house. Sounds like we're all in the same boat."

"Yeah. Hey, it's the second week, right?"

"I think so. Wait... I just checked -- yep, today's the 8th. Looks like we've hit the NaNo Doldrums, big-time. Last week was so high-energy, it's really jarring to come to a screeching halt all of a sudden like this."

"I know! Last week was crazy busy. I had things lined up one after the other every day and couldn't hardly catch my breath. High drama at work, of course, then Ted and I went out, what, four nights? Good times." Alice smiled briefly, but it faded quickly. "But now I feel like I'm completely burned out. Actually, it started yesterday. No wonder Ted and I didn't get together."

"Sure sounds like Doldrums to me. It's taking forever to get the simplest things done, too. I tried to clear the piles of junk mail off the counter and found myself opening up each envelope and reading the stupid things aloud! Insane!"

"I noticed she just now turned the word count off, too. I think she's getting freaked out."

"Well, poor kid, it is her first time. Hopefully she'll push through it this weekend and we can get back to life as we know it. Oops... hold on..." Carol sneezed. "Sorry. I've been doing a lot of that today. But it's better than throwing my hands up in the air and scowling, like I was doing last week. That got real old, real quick."

"God, I hope things even out soon! I'm dying for something resembling normal. And I'm hoping that this Ted thing doesn't burn out too fast. I have high hopes for this one."

"Not to get too nosy, but have you... you know?"

Surprisingly, Alice found herself blushing. "No, not yet. But it's only been a week. I was kind of hoping we'd get together this weekend, but I'm feeling so fried, I'm not sure that's going to happen."

"Fair warning, Hon: She does seem to have a problem with more... intimate moments, so you might not get anything too explicit. I'm just sayin' is all."

"Great. Just what I need: a noob Writer with Protestant Ancestors. Hey, maybe that explains why I decided I had to go home Thursday night. Thanks for the warning. I'll try not to get my hopes up."

"Want to meet for lunch or something? I really need to get out of the house. And despite our ridiculously repetitive actions lately, I don't think there's any way we're going to make it to 2000 here. Maybe a change of venue will help, or at least get her off our backs for a few hours."

"Sure, sounds good. It'll help take my mind off of Ted, too. But we can't go to the bookstore, 'k? I just hate having to read out loud the entire back cover description of every book I pick up. Word count or not, that's just embarrassing!"

"OK, meet you at The Spotted Cock in half an hour?"

"You're on. See you there." Alice flipped her phone shut.

She slowly shook her head. "Ah, November sucks." She headed upstairs to put on something not made of flannel. Stopped halfway up the steps, she glared at the ceiling. "Fair warning, bee-yotch: If you screw up this thing with Ted, I swear, I'll take up sign language!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Day 5

Dear Diary,

Last night*, I was wondering something. Now that I no longer have Extreme Election Avoidance Syndrome to send me hiding deep within my <air quote>Novel</air quote> for hours upon end, will I continue to be able to spew large chunks of nonsense, day after day?

Today I found my answer: Probably. Apparently I can spew large, steaming gobs of waste for hours on end, with no particular motivation whatsoever. Thank the universe for small favors, eh?

Today's carnage:
Word count: 2378
Total: 13,271

Today, the relationship between my two main characters was established. There were extended sections of dialog and everything! Of course they both talk exactly the same (like me) but I will deal with that some time in the far future, if I ever go back to edit the damned thing.

But for now, I hereby decree that everyone in my <air quote>Novel</air quote> will talk exactly like ME!

As it was written, so let it be done.

Love,
Liz C

* After the champagne, puppies, and diamonds.
 

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It's over!

And life in these United States is looking pretty damned good right now.
:)
 

Day 4

Note how I am not, absolutely not, posting a political post on this most political of days? Oh, I was tempted, believe me. I even wrote up a nice rant this morning inviting everyone not voting for Obama to stay home. But I would never ever post such a thing.

Anyway, on to the really important business at hand.


Dear Diary,

I have now decided how to refer to my effort. It is known as 'My <air quote>Novel</air quote>'. I spent a good amount of time on it yesterday, and, thanks to the election, an obscene amount of time on it today in an attempt not to think about what MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN TODAY OMG WTF IS IT OVER YET?!?

That angst netted me over 3000 words today. And I might even rack up some more if we spent all night in front of the TV obsessively flicking from channel to channel desperately trying to FIND OUT IF SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED AND OMG IS IT OVER YET?

But the Real big news is that SOMETHING FINALLY HAPPENED in My <air quote>Novel</air quote>: the first Big Hairy Deal was revealed. First, my protagonist had to pee in a cup (there's that peeing thing again. I may need to see someone about that) and then she found out she was pregnant.

So here are the stats for today and to date:
Word count: 3013
Total: 10893
I'd really better tighten this up a bit, though. At this rate, I'll have hit 50K and still only be 2/3 of the way through my story arc. Ramble on, much?

Hopefully, the next time I write we will all be celebrating with champagne and puppies and diamonds. Except for those who willfully chose to vote the wrong way. No soup for them!

Love,
Liz C
 

Monday, November 3, 2008

Dream ticket?

We poke our heads briefly into reality to bring you this priceless image:



Is it over yet?
 

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Day 2

Dear Diary,

I humbly submit today's stats:
Word count: 2878
Total: 5108
(Hey's that's 10%!)

Today I brought my second character, the guy, into play. I was nervous about that but it went pretty well. The two characters went out for the afternoon, had dinner, cuddled on the couch, and oh yeah, discussed that whole 'missed period' thing. I described his apartment in great detail. I have no idea why.

And the action contained in that one brief paragraph, amazingly enough, took almost 3000 words.

I just realized that somewhere along the way I jumped from Saturday afternoon to Sunday evening. Crap. Oh well, I'll deal with that tomorrow.

Oh yeah, and we almost got my son's room painted. Just one more coat of red. Hey, next time I decide to paint a wall any sort of deep red, slap me, please. Or at least threaten me with something nasty if I neglect to buy the tinted primer. Thank you.

Love,
Liz C
 

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Day 1

Dear Diary,

Today, in between running and painting Young Son's room and a couple of trips to the hardware store (and a nap), I cranked out the first 2230 words on my NaNo story. Yeah, it's pretty much all 'throat clearing', but nobody said it had to actually go anywhere. I'm going for sheer volume, baby!

So far my character has gone back to work after her lunch break, finished her day, come home from work, gone straight to bed, woke up too early when she realized she missed her period, and spent five hours writing at her kitchen table. And peed, twice that we know of.

2230 words = not quite 24 hours.

Drone on, much?

I suppose for this kind of a project it's a blessing that I can ramble on for hours about nothing. It's going to be a long 30 days for my poor character. Pity her.

Tomorrow: Another character! Rejoice!

Love,
Liz C