I've got female troubles. My ovaries feel like they are swollen to the size of Vidalia onions and I have a headache that is causing me to not be very patient with my tech support callers. But my buddy Galpal has saved my day! She sent me a link to what may possibly be the quintessential gift for women who have survived the, uh, best that mid-life has to offer.
Behold: The Golden Tampon Lifetime Achievement Award!
This is, in the words of the artist, Laura Mappin, "A decorative work of art to commemorate that you've done your Tampon Time and you're Free At Last!" And it can be yours for $59 plus shipping. I can't think of a better way to commemorate a loved one's graduation to cronehood.
I'll try to spare you TMI, but right now I can only dream of the day I qualify for this.
You should also check out Ms. Mappin's other products. My guess is that if you read this blog regularly, you probably have several people on your gift list who would love this stuff.