Money where my mouth is

You're wondering how that whole acupuncture thing has been going, haven't you? Well, it's been a real interesting week.

The second poking was fine, my mood continues to be better than it has been in, oh, a l-o-n-g time, and my sinuses and lower back actually feel better. Apparently that indicates acupuncture will work for me, which they tell me isn't always the case. There is some percentage of folks that just don't respond. Mighty big of them to admit it up front, I thought.

Last night, at the third sticking/consult, I learned the details of The Plan: what they say they need to do to make me better, how long it will take, and (gulp!) how much it will cost.

I knew it was going to be a chunk, but golly! Even with my insurance benefits figured in, it was enough to shock me. But again, they knew exactly what they were doing: They saved the sticker shock (ha!) for after the sticking while the flood of endorphins was rushing around my body. OK, I admit, I was high, and that amused Mr. B to no end. I had brought him with me just in case they tried to sell me some ranch land in Arizona while I was transfixed by the pleasing symmetry of the pattern of acoustic tiles on the ceiling. I will not lie, it felt pretty good. And it's legal! Who knew?

Anyway, The Plan says it will take thirty-six treatments over five months, plus Chinese herbs (not covered by insurance). Sure, I have doubts. It's a hell of a lot of money, which I chose to pay up front to get the maximum discount. But based on the little I know, the two things going on in my body right now that scare me the most seem pretty likely to be healed by this treatment. That kicks Western medicine's scrawny white ass. Western medicine doesn't even pretend to have anything to help solve those problems.

Plus, if I decide to stop treatment, they will refund the unused portion of my money. Can't lie, that promise lubricated the decision-making process quite a bit.

What can I expect for my money? Theoretically, the bone in my jaw will heal and the swelling in my ankles and legs will resolve. But best of all, my mood and energy level will climb back into the functional range. That alone is almost worth it. I should even lose some weight, which has gotten to be quite an embarrassing problem in the last year or so. I'm not looking to fit into my 25-year-old skinny jeans again, but the last time I weighed this much, I was pregnant. That shit has GOT to cease.

So tonight I have my herbal consult. They will provide me with my first bottle of custom-blended Chinese herbal medicine, affectionately known as dirt. And then the games begin!

Hell, if this works as advertised, I might even begin posting funny stuff again. Wouldn't that be a treat?