As luck would have it, my running class was scheduled for a field trip to the Big City the Saturday morning after the Stephen Hawking lecture. Despite my resolution that I was not going to initiate the next get-together, I did mention it to Guy. He suggested getting together afterwards for lunch then going back to his place to watch episodes of Firefly. We'd talked before about doing this eventually since I really wanted to see that series* and he had the DVDs.
But sometime during that week I reached a critical decision point. Based on my reaction to that simple hug, I had to acknowledge that I was having way too many... thoughts to be able to settle into Just Friends status. I concluded, despite my better judgment, that I had to find out if he wanted to go down that path.
Yes, I was thinking the d-word. Would he want to Date me?
And if he wasn't interested, then given my fragile emotional state I realized I would have to walk away. As much as it pained me to admit it, I knew I didn't yet have enough control over the right side of my brain to shut those feelings down and behave like an adult.
Saturday arrived. I made it over for my class. Guy picked me up after. We got some lunch. Back at his place, adrenaline pumping (fightorflight?fightorflight?) it once again occurred to me that I had
As for the rest of the afternoon, picture the two of us -- our average age is 50, mind you -- sitting at opposite ends of a very l-o-n-g couch watching episode after episode of Firefly, mostly in silence.
I was completely paralyzed. I felt like my head was going to explode, but I couldn't make myself initiate The Conversation. I swear, I felt like I was 15 years old.
I'll spare you the minute-by-minute accounting, but in hindsight it was pretty funny, as awkward scenes often are... in hindsight. And it was kinda sweet, in a slightly uncomfortable, what-in-the-hell-are-we-doing-here sort of way
Long story short, it took me over two hours to nut up, stand up, and ask if I could sit next to him**. He graciously acquiesced, but it took another l-o-n-g while for him to take The Hint. By that point but I think we had been on that damned couch for probably four hours. Once he caught on (or wrestled his own demons into submission, I'm not sure which) and the first kiss was thrown, all hell broke loose. And I mean that in the best possible way.
Quote of the Day:
L (mid-smooch): "I guess this means we're dating...."
G: "Yep, I'd say so."
Later in the evening I realized I either had to leave to catch the ferry home... or not. After much agonizing I decided not. I was surprised to realize I was having guilt pangs about staying, even though I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. But... I quickly got over it. At that point, not even real, bona fide guilt pangs would have been enough to get my ass on that boat.
The next morning Mr. Gives-No-Clues happened to have a fresh pint of half & half on hand for my coffee.
The punch line: He doesn't take half & half in his coffee. He had procured it on spec, just in case. Fascinating behavior, for a guy who hadn't even tried to hold my hand, no? The male mind is indeed a mysterious thing.
In embarrassingly short order -- maybe all of a week, probably less than two -- it was clear that we weren't dating, we were Together. And here we are, a year later, with no end in sight.
Somehow, despite our best efforts, it seems to be falling into place. Not without rough spots but we're both willing to keep at it.
And so concludes our tale. Yeah, I'll take my story over Cinderella's any day.
* I told you I'm a geek
** How stupid is that?? Like he would have said no. I'm an idiot.