Young Son: Hey Mom, I need to tell you something!It's no secret that I'm a Jim Gaffigan fan, and I certainly love to PMP as much as the next person, but c'mon! How can I possibly encourage a second-grader to pursue a career as a stand-up comedian? Like Lovely Daughter earning her MFA in acting isn't enough drama for one household.
Me: (grunt)
YS: So tomorrow's Career Day at school? And we're supposed to dress up like what we want to be when we grow up? I'm going to be someone who does comedy. Hey, I can dress up like Jim Gaffigan!
Me: (ohsweetbabyjesus....)
Shit.
But a second-grade Career Day does not a lifestyle choice make. So after much discussion about clothing options, which included reminding him that he did not own a suit coat, we discarding the always popular all-clothes-on-backwards gag in favor of a more subtle look -- his Caliente Pockets t-shirt topped with an open button-down shirt. I thought we were all set...
...until this morning, when he decided that instead he wanted to wear the button-down shirt mis-buttoned over a plain t-shirt, with one cuff buttoned and the other opened. Wow!! Does that scream WACKY! or what? Oh well. At least he didn't choose Gallagher*.
Oh yeah, and Talent Day is coming up. I managed to gently discourage him (I hope) from singing along to an mp3 he downloaded from the Bionicle website. Phew! But this morning he decided that he wanted to display his special talent to the school: singing the Super Mario theme song while demonstrating the neti pot**.
Direct quote: But I'll need a bucket....
I am not making this up.
You know, the more I think of it, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. Could there possibly be any better ammunition for future adolescent humiliation?
* Too bad I couldn't talk him into dressing up like a humor-blog author....
** BTW, if you have any sort of nasal issues and have not tried the neti pot, get thee to the drugstore immediately. Srsly. Go. Now. More info here. We started about a month ago at the beginning of allergy season and it has made all the difference in the world. I get a slight water-up-the-nose sensation (which I always hated) but it's just for a second and it's well worth it.
That's my boy
ReplyDeleteurex
I'm afraid, somehow, this may be my fault. The whole comedian thing, that is. Given the current circumstances, I think I'll hang on to my sense of humor, bad influence or no.
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Are you sure that kid isn't actually going to grow up to really be a comedian? Because he's off to a great start! Very creative sense of humor for such a tender age!
ReplyDeleteOh, too funny. You'll always have interesting holiday dinners, though, with an actress and stand-up at the table.
ReplyDelete(Congrats to Lovely D. on her callbacks/meetings.)
Love the neti pot. Been a fan for years!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to your daughter! And your son sounds like a handful of fun! Ha!