Rant: The Big O

Two back-to-back letters to the editor from a recent issue of O Magazine*. I am not making this up.

Letter 1:
I have wasted many a Saturday buying pants that really don't fit. Your shopping advice [in the previous issue] helpfully guided me toward the best style for my shape. But $285? That's my two-week grocery bill for a family of six. Please suggest brands I can buy on a social worker's salary.

Editor's note: There are plenty of affordable pants out there, and we especially love these options: The Limited's [a], Ann Taylor's [b], Express's [c], Banana Republic's [d], and Liz Claiborne's [e].

Letter 2:
Your [recent] issue had the prettiest cover! Can you tell me the name of the magnificent red rose Oprah is holding? I'd love to find it locally so I can put it in my garden.

Editors' note: The flower is a hybrid that Oprah designed and named the Legends Rose in honor of the 25 pioneering women she celebrated in 2005.

There is so much wrong here that I can't even verbalize it. Asking O to recommend something 'affordable' is like asking the president the cost of a gallon of milk. There is simply no possibility of relating to the average American's reality. Not a single pair of those 'affordable' pants were under $50, and most were at least $70.

And how can that second letter possibly be real? Could it possibly be any more self-serving? Oprah is on every single cover -- they're virtually indistinguishable. Girl? Puh-leeze. Just put in a full-page ad for the freakin' rosebush and be done with it.

Oooh yeah, baby! C'mon, do it! You know you want to.
Am I the only one who finds this absolutely repellent? This whole Big-O-centric/elitest-consumptionist/omnimedia-circus thing? Most upsetting is knowing that there are millions of people allowing themselves to be manipulated and seduced into craving that impossibly artificial and pretentious lifestyle, thereby encouraging the entire obscene enterprise by buying into it. Hell, at least Martha teaches you how to make things. I'm smelling something and it ain't no 'Legends Rose'.

Hmmm? What's that? Why do I have a copy of O Magazine?

Uhhh... bathroom material? Yeah, that's it, I only read it for the articles.

* Red emphasis is mine, my comments/edits in [...]