Thursday, September 25, 2008


OK, stand back -- she's gonna blow!

Top ten things pissing me off this week:
10. Whatever the hell is going on with the economy. I'm trying not to make direct eye contact with it (lalaLalaLAAAA... I can't hear you....) but it's still scaring the shit out of me. I'm considering stuffing my garage full of dried beans and rice. And canned peaches -- lots of canned peaches. But even delicious canned peaches won't help my puny-ass, pathetic retirement funds. I will never be able to retire.

9. Walking into the bathroom at work this morning to find both toilet paper rolls empty. C'mon, people! If you have to scrape the last square off with your fingernails, it's a good indication that you should reach out the two feet in front of you to grab a fresh roll and change it out. You can lay in a darkened room with a cold cloth on your forehead afterward, if you must.

8. Me vs. me: Left brain vs. right brain. Some weeks are harder than others. Especially when there are other people that need to be taken into consideration. Makes things so complicated....

7. The election. I haven't watched national news in months and won't until November 4th. And then I will be watching with my hands over my eyes, peering through my slightly-splayed fingers, whispering pleaseohpleaseohpleaseletitend....

6. My car required $400 worth of emergency surgery yesterday. I was also advised that there's another $1000+ of work that MUST BE DONE STAT if it is to survive. It is cheaper than buying a new car. It is cheaper than buying a new car. It really is. Really!

5. Sarah Palin. Puh-leeze! How stupid do they think we are? But in her defense, she can see Russia from her house. I admire that in a woman.

4. My shoulders. Last year I went to physical therapy twice a week for 12 weeks to treat my left shoulder for a complaint 'common to older women'. Now my right shoulder is giving me grief, to the point where shaving my right armpit presents a challenge. Considering I'm so blind I can hardly see my right armpit anyway, bringing a sharp blade anywhere near it could constitute a health hazard. And the measly 14 hours of leave I have left for the year is not gonna cover 12 more weeks of prescribed torture.

3. School fundraisers. I paid $30 for two pieces of cheap plastic shit I neither need nor want so Young Son can 'win' a tub of plastic snot.

2. The other day I caught a guy at work watching porn on his computer. I could have lived the rest of my life quite happily not knowing that this 65 year old guy liked to watch a Lesbian MILF Seducing a Teen on YouTube. This is the same guy I walked in on in the restroom a few months back. Ew.
And the Number One thing making me say 'Fuck' this week is....
1. Money. 'Nuff said.
Is it Friday yet?

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