It's not bad, it's just written that way

It's almost time for the Annual Receipt of the Letters of Obscene Oversharing!

I don't have any examples for you (yet), but I've been thinking about what makes a Christmas letter so bad it's good (read: hilarious.) After countless hours* of research and careful analysis, I've concluded it comes down to violating one or more of these two simple concepts:

1. Less Is More


2. Consider Your Audience

Face it, people write Christmas letters because they're too lazy to write customized letters tailored to each recipient. I know this because that is why I write them. Instead of considering the individual on the receiving end, they (read: I) put in every single piece of information that might possibly interest any one of the recipients. Holiday buckshot, if you will. Ding-dong-ditch with a flaming bag of poo.

Yeah, it works. Problem is, most people don't care. Most people don't care about your dog's wacky hijinks or the biopsy results of the polyps in your stomach. True, some might, but if they really cared you probably already told them when the news was fresh.

I hesitate to come down too hard on the Christmas letter offenders because I really do enjoy reading their efforts and I wouldn't want them all to come to their senses. That would be sad, indeed.

If you don't want to find your missive mocked** on a blog like this, just keep the two simple concepts in mind and you'll do fine. But if you get any good ones this year, send 'em in! I'll post the juiciest bits.

* I spent a whole 15 minutes thinking about this. That's a long time for someone with the attention span of a toothpick.

** Mocked with loving-kindness, but mocked nonetheless.