Friday, June 4, 2010

Haircut chicken

I've surrendered. I played haircut chicken and my hair won.

I usually get a haircut every four or five weeks. Recently I got cocky (I know, you're shocked) and decided to see how long I could go before I ran screaming from the mirror. See, I've been growing my hair out for the last year or so, and it's slowly getting there, but I was hoping to push through the final stages and FINALLY get the little goofy bits that swoop out from the side of my head at a ninety degree angle grown out past my ears before I went in for my next fifty-buck trim.

I was this close.

I thought it was traumatic enough when, last fall, I was confronted by the hard truth that I was going to have to re-lean how to use a blow-dryer after probably a decade-long hiatus, but I did it. I even learned how to wield a straightening-flatttener-iron-thingy with a reasonable amount of skill. I weathered the Expensive and Irritating Over-Foiling Event of January 2010 with only minimal psychic scarring, and didn't hardly freak out this spring when I realized my hair looked exactly like it did my freshman year on high school. In 1973.

But I persevered. I thought I had seen the worst my hair could throw at me. Until this week.

This week something happened -- some extra millimeter of hair growth tipped the system into chaos and all hell broke loose. During this morning's primping I realized my hair now looks like it did on my driver's license photo over a decade ago, the one that made me swear I Would Never Ever Grow My Hair Out Again.

Well played, hair. I will take you in this weekend to the fancy-pants stylist and pay the big bucks to weed-whack you back into submission, even if it does take another six months to get the stupid swirly bits to grow out. I have learned my lesson and will never fool with The Schedule ever again.

The Hair hath Spoken, and It was So.


  1. The last time I got my hair cut (you were right on - $50) I took a picture of some model and told the stylist, "I'd like it cut like this." Well, it's the old story, it didn't look anything like "this" it looked like that little cut Audrey Hepburn had, only I'm not Audrey Hepburn. Anyway, since that day I have cut my own hair. Not only do I save $50, but I know it isn't going to be too short.
    First, I stand over the sink and pray. I tell God I know he wants me to save $50 and so please help me. Never cut your own hair without doing this. Then I cut away and hope for the best. It always looks better than that last cut at the salon so I am always happy with it.

  2. Icame by your site by just blog hopping. It is interesting.
    I neither wavy nor fully curly, something in between. After few years , I decided to cut my hair really short. Now whenever I have a hair cut , it looks odd for sometime, and slowly it feels alright. Never have I ever felt nice after my hair cut. Sometimes i feel I must grow my hair a little long , and soon I get so frustrated with its neither curly nor wavy hair that I have to give up my desire to grow my hair.
    Well thats the story of my hair.

  3. I once went 6 months without getting my hairs cut. No reason, it was just one of those things that I never got around to doing.

    When I did finally decide to get it cut (even shorter than normal), I went to a new place, since they couldn't take me at my "regular" place, and I wanted it done that day (which also happened to be my birthday, but that was more coincidence than anything).

    I told the lady that I wanted her to cut my hair as short as she could, but I didn't want it spikey. She started at the back, and as soon as I heard her scissors taking away the first three inches of locks, I screamed, "I was just kidding!!!"

    Poor girl. I hope I tipped her well.

  4. Oh Frank, you rascal! There's probably no way you could have tipped her enough.


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