Monday, May 11, 2009

Perfunctory at best

Recently I had a new provider at PT and in less than five minutes I knew exactly who she was: Ms. Perfunctory. If I thought Mr. Adequate was all about 'just good enough', then Ms. Perfunctory was 'fuck all y'all'.

Think I'm being harsh? Not even. Before I had even kicked off my shoes and climbed up on the table, I had already learned she was in the process of separating from the military, aka punching out. She is what is known in the trade as a Short-timer.

She is also an over-sharer.

In the course of our very short time together, I learned she is 31 years old and has three children ages 3-7. I learned her ex was/is a controlling prick, and that she has a boyfriend. She has a degree in business administration, which she mentioned at least twice, but she is only an E-5.

Somehow that doesn't surprise me.

She has a half-brother 10 years her junior who is in the Army and asked her for money last week. I heard about her other siblings and their careers, including the half-sister 11 years her senior whom her dad and a previous wife had given up for adoption as an infant but reconnected with the dad 16 years later. Oh, in case you were wondering, her dad has been married three times, and her mom started having kids at age 16, popping out three by the time she was 22. Her mom is now 55. In case you were wondering.

Ms. Perfunctory considers herself a bad mom because she doesn't check her kids' backpacks every night* and because of that didn't learn about the Mother's Day Tea at her daughter's school in time to schedule time off. She is dreading the elementary school band concert she had to attend that evening**.

By the time she finished rushing me through my stretches and exercises, shoved me in the chair, and tossed an ice pack at me*** a scant 20 minutes after I walked in, I was exhausted from all of my sympathetic smiling and nodding. Because, you know, it would be rude to not.

I forgot to ask when she was separating, but I know it ain't soon enough. I already have another appointment scheduled with her in about ten days. Oh Jeebus, please let her have enough awareness to at least tell me new stuff next time.

* OK, I'm guilty of that too but at least I made the Mother's Day Tea.

** Yeah, guilty there too, but I've been going to kids' shows and concerts for over 20 years. I get partial dispensation for my bad attitude.

*** OK, slight exaggeration. There was no actual shoving or tossing.


  1. New stuff next time? I don't THINK so.


  2. She sounds like such a ... joy? The Torturer internalizes EVERYTHING and although he does TALK, it is hard to drag out personal stuff. (And I've known him for 14 years.) Of course, he did tell me more before I started blogging about his love life ... but who wouldn't? I mean, for Godsakes, the man is dating THE MOANER now. How can a person NOT write about that? hee hee ....! : )

  3. Ah, yes...the over-sharer's emotional one-night stand. Too bad you have to go back for Round 2!


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